Paris apartments

I think we’ll leave as soon as we arrange an apartment in Paris, which is like pulling teeth. To sum it up: little boxes (not kidding, yesterday I saw a listing for 10 square meters) for lots of money. Shady people trying to trick me into living outside the peripherique. Oh, hell no. I’m not moving to the City of Light to be outside the City of Light, dawg. I need a cafe, a patisserie, a museum of some kind and a river right outside my doorstep. Preferably with lots of eye candy, too, although based on my prior visits I may have to give up on that. I haven’t been knocked out by legions of handsome Frogs on my previous visits.